Once we take the spiritual path we connect with Spirit and the deepest truth of who we are. It is a journey of love and acceptance which can also test our faith, courage and strength.
Like many others, it was through sadness that I came to feel joy and through darkness that I saw the light. For the longest time I felt I had been given more than my share of unfortunate events. And, just as I thought it could not get worse, I received heartbreaking news; it literally felt like an arrow had pierced my heart leaving a hole so big that it could never be mended. I had been through a lot and I always considered myself strong but, in those moments, I was crushed. My mind wandered through every scenario. What went wrong? Why was this happening? What was Spirit trying to tell me? I realized that I needed to devote time to myself; to peel away the layers of uncertainty, fear and anger. It was a must to delve more deeply into my faith and my truth which meant I had some serious work to do.
Deep down I felt empty; I had given so much of myself to others I became exhausted. Months went by, and finally I had begun to master most of my emotions. This was good; it meant that despite my emotional mess the healing process was underway. Then, more bad news…I wondered how much heartache I could take before breaking into a million pieces. How was I going to put the pieces back together to be whole once again? I wanted to wake up from a bad dream, thus this story would only be a figment of my imagination. But, just when everything seemed to be falling apart my faith started to illuminate the darkness.
It was clear that these setbacks would lead to change. Of course, the outcome depended on how I was going to go about it. I could surrender to God the things I did not understand and rebuild my strength, or I could spiral into confusion and despair. I certainly didn’t care for the latter but, in all honesty, negative thoughts are easy to hold on to. I went on to clear out the the chaos, the negative energy, and create space for positivity, compassion and forgiveness. Instead of losing my faith I deepened it, there was no going back to the dark night of the soul. I started honoring myself by creating rituals to soothe my heart and my soul, I was awakening my inner fire.
Early mornings I began to seek nature’s calming effects as I soaked up the sun’s warm rays and finding solace in the presence of horses. I lovingly brushed their coats as they held space for me without judgement. I learned to make choices that were good for me and to set healthy boundaries (horses really help with that). I refused to be a broken woman, this did not define me.